A Guide: The ultimate do's and don'ts of dating in your twenties

The dating culture has significantly evolved in the past five decades - Men were NEVER this sassy, and us, as women have become more independent. But how do we manage to always be the one that gets heartbroken when some boy with a questionable intention comes into our lives? I would admit that I may not be the best person to take advice from as I am in a four-year long relationship. However, my friends haven’t – and people always say that being a coach on the side-lines always provide better insights than the player. The ultimate dos and don’ts list will guide you through dating in your twenties. These are the most important years of our lives; our youthfulness will fade as we reach numbers beginning with a three.

The Dos :

Knowing your boundaries.

It is so easy to get caught up with the person you’re seeing and often let them get away with things that you normally wouldn’t have as you’ve been blinded by your feelings for them. Because of that, they will automatically assume that you have low self – respect and they can get away with anything… which is definitely not the case! I see a lot of girls always letting boys get away with little things, such as disrespecting them. That is normally when the assumption of you being a “doormat*” starts, and gradually they will progress to doing something unforgivable, such as cheating. Therefore, not only you know your boundaries are important, but you also need to make sure that your boundaries are communicated to your partner clearly. I often find that when guys fear losing their girlfriends, they are less likely do sly things as they know that their girlfriend would stand their ground and not be a 'doormat'.

Law of detachment has become increasingly popular amongst the dating field, for women anyways. When you have mastered the law of detachment, you would understand that one cannot control the future or others and accepting uncertainty. By being conscious of this concept, it would be hard for the person you are speaking to consume your head, affecting what you do daily, asking questions such as “Why are they not texting me back?”, “Are they no longer interested?”. The answer to these questions is not in your control, you cannot fix it, so why should you worry over it? At the end of the day, I am a strong believer in if it’s meant to be it will be, the person that you want to be dating shouldn’t be playing games like this – it’s a red flag anyways. Law of detachment in a spiritual manner, is letting go of your emotions to manifest your desires, this does not only apply in relationships – it applies to everything in life, do what you will with this information.

Be open about your dating pool.

You are only in your twenties, you’ve been experiencing life for only twenty years, I would be shocked if you knew what exactly what you want in a partner. This is the period where you learn about who you are, what you value, and what you want in life. In our twenties, we should still be exploring what traits and qualities you value most in a partner. Not only that, but different kinds of relationships can also expose you to new experiences and hobbies, which can help you grow as a person, making your relationships more fulfilling and meaningful in the future. Therefore, focusing too much on one “ideal” type can lead to overlooking on opportunities for unexpected connections and chemistry that you wouldn’t find in your “initial mold”.

Be private about your love life.

There are multiple reasons why I believe it’s best to be private about your love life, even towards your friends. When you tell situations about you and your partner, your friends will often stand on your side, saying things that will interfere with how you view the situation, trying to further prove why they are in the wrong. You may not be thinking the way they are, but you will eventually let your friends get into your head, sabotaging your relationship - you will always maintain control over your own narrative.

Another reason why I am a firm believer in a private relationship is that you will never know who would be jealous of your relationship. They may try to find ways to create tension and problems between you and your partner, causing a lot of unnecessary arguments. By being private about your love life, you can prevent gossip influencing your feelings or decisions, and less pressure will be placed on you to meet external expectations and timelines.

The Don’ts :

Comparing your relationship with social media.

Okay, so hear me out—comparing your relationship to what you see on social media? Total trap. Like, seriously, no one’s relationship is as perfect as it looks in those cute Instagram pics. People post the highlight reel, you know? The romantic dinners, the spontaneous trips, all the lovey-dovey moments, but they don't show the arguments or the messy parts. It’s easy to start thinking your relationship should be just like that, but that’s where the stress starts. You might get all insecure, like, ‘Why can’t we be like that?’ when the truth is, every couple has their own vibe and struggles. It’s not about keeping up with what everyone else is posting—it's about the connection you and your partner share. If you’re constantly comparing, it just messes with your head. Instead of stressing over the ‘perfect couple’ pics online, focus on your own thing, on real moments. At the end of the day, your love story is the one that matters, not what everyone else is showing off.

Never beg for someone.

Never beg for someone’s love or attention. It’s that simple. If you find yourself constantly asking for affection, validation, or just to be noticed, you’re in the wrong place. Relationships should feel like a mutual exchange, not a one-sided effort. If you’re always the one reaching out, putting in the work, and constantly trying to prove your worth, you’re missing the point. You don’t need to beg anyone to stay or care about you. You deserve someone who sees your value without you having to show them repeatedly. Think about it—why would you fight so hard for someone who isn’t fighting for you? Begging for someone’s love only lowers your self-worth. Instead, focus on yourself, raise your standards, and wait for someone who appreciates you for who you are. People who truly care won’t make you beg for their attention; they’ll make you feel valued without you having to ask.

Don’t let them affect who you are.

When you're in a relationship in your 20s, it's easy to get lost in it all, but don’t let it change who you are. You’re still figuring out who you are, and the right person should support that, not make you question it. If you start feeling like you’re acting different in a way that doesn’t feel true to yourself, that’s a red flag. You should never have to change to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. You deserve someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are, not someone who makes you feel like you have to be someone else. Keep your goals, your values, and your self-respect front and center. Don’t let anyone make you forget what’s important to you.

Stop settling for what you’re not worth.

Stop settling for less than what you’re worth. Seriously, your 20s are about figuring out who you are and what you deserve, and you shouldn’t be accepting anything that doesn’t meet those standards. It’s easy to get caught up in someone who seems good enough or checks some boxes, but deep down you know you deserve more than just 'good enough.' Don’t let fear of being alone or rushing into things make you settle. You deserve someone who genuinely adds value to your life, not someone who makes you question your worth. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t respect you or make you feel loved the way you should. Your time is valuable—don’t waste it on people who don’t see your worth.

SIay! The truth is, dating in your twenties isn’t about doing everything perfectly or following some rigid guidebook. It’s about learning as you go, embracing the excitement, and figuring out what truly works for you.

So here’s my final advice: Always stay conscious of both your actions and theirs. Listen to your gut—it’s smarter than you think—and make choices that align with your values and goals. Remember to prioritize safety, both emotionally and physically, because your well-being is non-negotiable. But most importantly, don’t forget to have fun.

Your twenties are a time to explore, experience, and enjoy the journey. Allow yourself to make mistakes, laugh at the chaos, and grow from it all. After all, love isn’t just about the destination; it’s about the wild, wonderful ride along the way.