Am I doing enough? How to: Get over FOMO

Ever felt like everyone is living their best life, while you’re always at home? Ever compared your career with that of everyone else and felt like you’re not doing enough? Welcome to the world of FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. 

FOMO refers to the perception of missing out on something, let that be a social event, an experience, or a career achievement. People experiencing this feeling find themselves constantly comparing what they do to others and feeling extremely unsatisfied with their lives. This is perceived by the brain as a social threat, which could potentially result in social exclusion, and it triggers a strong anxiety.

Although FOMO has not been recognized as a psychological condition, this phenomenon negatively affects both our mental and physical health. Anxiety and stress can lead to depression and burnout, and they have been scientifically proven to weaken our immune system and decrease longevity. Nowadays, among younger generations, FOMO has become increasingly popular. But where does this irrational fear come from? And why has it become more widespread in recent times? 

Erin Vogel, social psychologist and associate professor at the University of Oklahoma Health, explains that FOMO is strictly linked to people’s need to belong. Humans are social creatures and they want to feel like they are part of a group. Therefore, everything that makes someone feel left out, or excluded from a social group, can provoke FOMO. For example, common causes of this phenomenon are not understanding a joke that everyone is laughing at, not being picked by a group, or not being invited to a social gathering. Even if these situations have always occurred, in recent times the number of people suffering from FOMO has significantly increased. This is believed to be linked to social media and how because of platforms like Instagram, Tik Tok and Facebook, users have constant access to other people’s lives. This encourages users to compare themselves and what they do to their followers, promoting the feeling of not doing enough. On top of this, other psychologists have brought attention to “The Paradox of Choice” as a potential cause of FOMO. The Paradox of Choice points to the fact that when a wider set of options is available, this might overwhelm us and give us the impression that we are always missing out on something. This is very much a problem of today’s world, where even something as simple as eating out has become a difficult decision between thousands of well sponsored trendy restaurants. Despite this, it is possible to cope with and prevent this emotional reaction. How?

Firstly, it is important to identify the behaviours, situations, or actions that have most frequently made us experience FOMO. Try to think back on the times you have had this anxious reaction and trace back your steps. What were you doing? Had you been scrolling on Instagram, had you just been talking to that friend of yours who always brags about all the parties they attend? By understanding what instigates FOMO, it can be easier to find a solution. Another useful tip is to practice happiness and gratitude. When things go wrong in life, it is very easy to focus on the negative side, but remember that you are in control of what you put attention on. You can choose whether to focus on everything that went wrong, or the good in the situation. For example, if you’re experiencing FOMO because some friends organized a function and they haven’t invited you, take out a diary, your notes app, or whatever is most convenient for you and note down things that made you smile today, or moments in which you feel happy, and try to express gratitude for them. In this way, you’ll see that although you missed out on that one party, that does not mean that your life is any less fulfilling, joyful, or satisfactory. Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, stop comparing yourself to others! 

FOMO is a big challenge, and it is not easy to escape this illogical fear, so don’t be scared if you’re not able to win over this feeling the first time you try! Rest assured that, if you start applying these small tips and incorporate them into your daily life, you’ll find your way out of FOMO!