'Baby fever' and the reality of having kids

Social media has become a tapestry of pictures and videos of babies. Everywhere, we see newborns playing with their parents, making silly faces and just being adorable. This has sparked an epidemic of what is referred to on social media as “baby fever” - the desperate desire to have a baby. 

Although kids have become “trendy”; nowadays, the reality of parenthood poses more hardships than we’d like to imagine. This is exemplified by the shocking drops in the birth rate in the majority of MEDCs, with countries reaching the lowest fertility rates they’ve recorded in years. The UK, for example, registered a total of 605,479 births in 2022, marking the year with the fewest births since 2002. 

So why is it that while all over social media people are going crazy for babies, natality is falling so rapidly? 

The reasons are many and complex, but to give the most straightforward answer, we can point the finger at the cost of children. While in the past, there were many economic incentives for procreation, such as children joining the labour force and contributing to the family’s revenue, today having children has become a privilege that only some can afford. For instance, the prices of childcare have skyrocketed, with one in five UK parents admitting to having considered quitting their jobs to avoid professional nannies, nurseries, and other childcare facilities. This is not to mention the expenses of further education, and of any extracurricular activities like sports or music. On average, it is estimated that raising a child from birth to 18 in the UK amounts to a spending of £223,256, meaning around £12,400. 

These costs have a determining influence on the lives of parents, and they especially constrain mothers. For example, in the case of childcare expenses, a solution that is gaining popularity is that of having a stay-at-home parent. This means that a parent has to abandon career aspirations and life goals, and in most cases, it is women who take on this responsibility. This feeds into stereotypical notions of family dynamics, with mothers being the ones who should make the sacrifices to look after their children, and staying at home while the men are providing for their families. At the same time, it has been observed that after motherhood, women’s careers are unlikely to recover. Their earning potential significantly decreases, as well as their chances to advance in their careers and receive promotions. 

Yet, some also suggest that lower fertility rates might also be an index of higher gender equality, in that fewer children might be a symptom of women’s freedom of choice in procreation, better education in terms of contraceptives, and access to the workforce. Although this is supported by a significant body of research, there are also studies that discredit this explanation showing how in countries with higher gender equality in raising children, birth rates are actually higher than in similar countries, but with lower equality in share of household and childcare. This suggests that, perhaps, the issue of low natality in MEDCs resides in forms of gender discrimination, which are pushing women away from motherhood and towards a detached and more external appreciation of children through media. 

As the hashtag #babyfever continues to make its way through social media platforms, poor focus is being given to the complexity of having children and the falling birth rates. Collective action is needed to make demands on the affordability of having children and to change underlying forms of gender inequality that influence women’s decision to procreate.