How to compete with toxic masculinity in the workplace and at university

These days, the term “toxic masculinity” is trending all over social media, with women of all ages, all around the world recognising and denouncing patterns of toxic masculinity in their daily lives. 

Dealing with toxic masculinity can be very difficult. This is especially true for women who have to face these behaviours at their workplace or at uni, as calling out the men engaging in toxic masculinity might create an awkward work environment or awkward interactions at uni. 

So, how can women compete with toxic masculinity without having this fireback on their jobs or student lives? 

Before diving into this topic of discussion, with all the fuss surrounding toxic masculinity, it is important to shed some light on what this term actually means. 

Masculinity refers to the set of characteristics, behaviours, and expectations that society sets for men. Masculinity becomes toxic when men feel pressured to adhere to these social expectations and when the notion of masculinity depicts men as aggressive, dominant, and distant from so-called feminine traits, such as emotion or compassion. 

In the workplace or at uni, toxic masculinity can manifest in a variety of ways, from interrupting or talking over women to being overly competitive against women to assert superiority. These are forms of microaggressions, which can be highly detrimental for women, who might stop enjoying what they do or study, or might feel ill at ease. At the same time, it is important to remember that toxic masculinity is also harmful to men as it stems from a feeling of lack of belonging to society, which pushes them to try to fit in via these toxic attitudes.

So what can we do to fight toxic masculinity? 

Firstly, it is important to remember that although nobody likes to snitch, sometimes, it is the only way to make a difference. Indeed, in the case of toxic masculinity being widespread in the office or in a class, or when you don’t feel comfortable calling out your male co-workers or peers for their behaviour, voicing your concerns to someone in a position of authority is the solution. Only people in power can actively change the culture at your workplace or uni, and rightly punish the men for these microaggressions. 

A second suggestion to deal with toxic masculinity is to establish a support system. When we are constantly exposed to these attitudes, it is easy to start believing in them and to become scared of expressing one’s opinions or desires. This is where having a support system can come to help. If you surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you, they’ll remind you of your worth if you ever start to double-guess yourself. 

Lastly, as hard as that might be, it is important to continue to challenge toxic masculinity. When a co-worker or peer talks over you, ask him to not interrupt you. When a man insinuates that he’s better than you, remind him that you work/ study together because you are equally as good. Standing up against these forms of micro-violence is necessary to remind men, and ourselves, that we too are strong and worthy.